There is a lot of truth to the perception that those with Sickle Cell Disease do a lot of frowning and always tend to look mad. I find that I am constantly frowning. My wife always reminds me to, "Smile...God Loves You". In that same thought, she reminds me of how forturnate I am to have my parents living Over the 30 years we have been married she has witnessed them and their efforts to keep me not only healthy physically, mentally and emotionally but to provide as much support as possible. Those of us with SCD must learn to appreciate that we have wonderful friends that keep us encouraged but they pale to keep pace with family.
I am fortunate to have a loving wife of 30 years and 3 wonderful children. What's not to smile about? Well, it doesn't take long for you to figure out how self centered I am or could be (I continue to work on this fault). As soon as something goes wrong that involves my health, which may be daily, I get into fighters mode and the frown returns. As a retort to the sayings; "Think Positive and It Will Happen...or Smile and You Will Feel Good!" I told someone, "I like to see where my bullets are coming from."
How do we become less agressive? Is it Pain Management? How do we handle the daily and contiuous frustrations pain brings to the table or the frustation that a decision you made and prayed about did not go as planned? You see we get up each day with the expectation that something will present to us a challenge as it relates to our health. Many of us who are over 50 have outlived the average mortality reported by data to the NIH (National Institutes of Health). We all can thank God for his Word and Protection. We can thank our friends who once whispered behind our backs that we were weak and would not be around for long. The thought of those voices who whispered behind my back keeps me going each day. I wonder if this is an underlying reason of why I carry this frown on my face?
The other day on my way to a doctors appointment we were listening to the radio and a song was being played. It was Kirk Franklin called "I Smile". "Today is a new day"....Sho' would hate for you to give up now... I Smile". "Smile for me can you just smile for me...You look so much better when you smile." Hardships, difficulties...We know it's hard right now....You look so much better. Have Joy!"
Thank God for a wonderful Family....I Smile! Happy Fathers Day to all Dads.
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Friday, June 17, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Elite 8
It's that time of the year that basketball dominates the TV watchers consciousness with a lot of Championships. I think we all can agree that those with SCD celebrate achievement not through a National Title but through accomplishments associated with daily living and quality of life. I look at those obstacles confronting me similar to those confronting each college team on their way towards achieving the ultimate prize....The National Title. Let's Explore.
Often those with SCD view themselves from a narrow prism of dependency and victim hood. No matter how hard we try to gather words and wisdom to make our lives better we can't seem to lift ourselves out of our ruts. Living with SCD dictates that we must constantly shake the "woe is me" syndrome whether self or environmentally inflicted. Therefore, I submit that we need to take a different point of view. Like the National Championships each year we start over again training and fighting to win a championship called "Quality of Life". Our goal each year should be to shatter through our own obstacles; "Elite 8", "Final 4" and the "Championship" as a result of our training and commitment. Our quality of life crowns us as champions and carries us into the new year.
If we focus on not getting to far ahead of ourselves we can take note of what a beautiful life we SC Warriors enjoy. I know the pain is unbearable sometimes and visiting the Emergency Rooms and physicians can drive us and our caregivers mad, but thorugh it all we make it to the sweet 16 and on to the Elite 8.
You may wonder what is the Elite 8? It's a basketball metaphor describing the best 8 teams in America who battle each other to make it to the Final 4. While I am not trying to compare anyone with others and God forbid, I am not saying those Warriors who left the battle field early (RIP), were weaker than the next person, what I am talking about is how do we encourage ourselves..., and how do we recognize that through God's "grace and mercy" we walk through this "storm with our heads held high"? I am referring to ..."tooting your own horn!" Saying to yourself,... "I am a Winner".
Now your list may be different from mine but when I think about it an example of my Elite 8 may be I made it through; 1. 6 hospital stays, 2. chronic mini crisis that I treated with pain therapy, 3. end stage renal failure, 4. staph infections, 5. vitreous haemorrhages, 6. rheumatoid arthritis, 7. dialysis, and 8. my self doubt. That's my list of things I am dealing with today along with some others I forgot to mention that did not make my elite 8 (other acute or chronic complications).
So let's look for those shining moments that bring total enlightenment and joy to ourselves and others. Our testimony is powerful. Our joy is contagious. Our stamina is overflowing. So just as we will see those college basketball players stepping up their game to win the Championship we too can step up our game and win everything this disease throws at us.....because we truly are WINNERS!!!
Often those with SCD view themselves from a narrow prism of dependency and victim hood. No matter how hard we try to gather words and wisdom to make our lives better we can't seem to lift ourselves out of our ruts. Living with SCD dictates that we must constantly shake the "woe is me" syndrome whether self or environmentally inflicted. Therefore, I submit that we need to take a different point of view. Like the National Championships each year we start over again training and fighting to win a championship called "Quality of Life". Our goal each year should be to shatter through our own obstacles; "Elite 8", "Final 4" and the "Championship" as a result of our training and commitment. Our quality of life crowns us as champions and carries us into the new year.
If we focus on not getting to far ahead of ourselves we can take note of what a beautiful life we SC Warriors enjoy. I know the pain is unbearable sometimes and visiting the Emergency Rooms and physicians can drive us and our caregivers mad, but thorugh it all we make it to the sweet 16 and on to the Elite 8.
You may wonder what is the Elite 8? It's a basketball metaphor describing the best 8 teams in America who battle each other to make it to the Final 4. While I am not trying to compare anyone with others and God forbid, I am not saying those Warriors who left the battle field early (RIP), were weaker than the next person, what I am talking about is how do we encourage ourselves..., and how do we recognize that through God's "grace and mercy" we walk through this "storm with our heads held high"? I am referring to ..."tooting your own horn!" Saying to yourself,... "I am a Winner".
Now your list may be different from mine but when I think about it an example of my Elite 8 may be I made it through; 1. 6 hospital stays, 2. chronic mini crisis that I treated with pain therapy, 3. end stage renal failure, 4. staph infections, 5. vitreous haemorrhages, 6. rheumatoid arthritis, 7. dialysis, and 8. my self doubt. That's my list of things I am dealing with today along with some others I forgot to mention that did not make my elite 8 (other acute or chronic complications).
So let's look for those shining moments that bring total enlightenment and joy to ourselves and others. Our testimony is powerful. Our joy is contagious. Our stamina is overflowing. So just as we will see those college basketball players stepping up their game to win the Championship we too can step up our game and win everything this disease throws at us.....because we truly are WINNERS!!!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Lean on Him
"I WANT YOU TO BE ALL MINE. I am weaning you from other dependencies. Your security rests in Me alone-- not in other people, not in circumstances. Depending only on Me may feel like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath: the everlasting arms. So don't be afraid of falling. Instead, look ahead to Me. I am always before you beckoning you on--one step at a time. Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate you from My loving Presence." Taken from Sarah Young's, Jesus Calling, daily devotional.
When I first read this devotional I thought about it long and hard. You see, there was nothing that was really different from any other sermon, lesson or commentary prior to my reading this. Yet, I thought about where my attention had been focused since 2005 after being on a ventilator for 10 days and walking away from that hospital stay. Many males with SCD never get a chance to continue living; morbidity is high from such a traumatic event. You see, I was afraid living and what might happen next. The passage started to percolate. Only God knows when it is time. Our "circumstance" allows us to lean on other people and be dependant on them; like our caregivers, physicians and others to supply us the courage we need to walk that "tightrope" of recovery and continuing on life's journey. We often blame someone else for our setbacks and then applaud ourselves for successes or right decisions related to our healthy daily living.
I thought about all of my medical challenges over the years; infections, pulmonary issues, sleep apnea, acute chest syndrome, heart failure, total hip replacement, end stage renal disease, and neuropathy to name a few. All of these issues interspersed with the Sickle Crisis have contributed to layers of baggage that I among others carry around on a daily basis. These "circumstances" focused my attention on the wrong things. How did I pull through? God's Mercy and his desire for me to continue this journey.
Spreading the word, advocating a cure for SCD should be a daily focus in our lives. Our ability to reach out to others with SCD around the world whether on Twitter or Facebook allows us to speak in one voice. Many of us will advocate for economic reasons getting into the business for all the wrong reasons. However a true test of our outreach should be to help others through testimonials, research, and spreading God's ambition for us to hear His "presence" and to never give up.
When I first read this devotional I thought about it long and hard. You see, there was nothing that was really different from any other sermon, lesson or commentary prior to my reading this. Yet, I thought about where my attention had been focused since 2005 after being on a ventilator for 10 days and walking away from that hospital stay. Many males with SCD never get a chance to continue living; morbidity is high from such a traumatic event. You see, I was afraid living and what might happen next. The passage started to percolate. Only God knows when it is time. Our "circumstance" allows us to lean on other people and be dependant on them; like our caregivers, physicians and others to supply us the courage we need to walk that "tightrope" of recovery and continuing on life's journey. We often blame someone else for our setbacks and then applaud ourselves for successes or right decisions related to our healthy daily living.
I thought about all of my medical challenges over the years; infections, pulmonary issues, sleep apnea, acute chest syndrome, heart failure, total hip replacement, end stage renal disease, and neuropathy to name a few. All of these issues interspersed with the Sickle Crisis have contributed to layers of baggage that I among others carry around on a daily basis. These "circumstances" focused my attention on the wrong things. How did I pull through? God's Mercy and his desire for me to continue this journey.
Spreading the word, advocating a cure for SCD should be a daily focus in our lives. Our ability to reach out to others with SCD around the world whether on Twitter or Facebook allows us to speak in one voice. Many of us will advocate for economic reasons getting into the business for all the wrong reasons. However a true test of our outreach should be to help others through testimonials, research, and spreading God's ambition for us to hear His "presence" and to never give up.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
A True Blessing From God
Many times it is good to remind ourself of how Blessed we are no matter what afflictions or disease we may have. You see many times we get caught in trying to heal ourselves rather than letting God's love for us control the healing process. That is why advocacy groups, blogs, songs and artistic expressions are so important to the healing process. It lets us know that God has not left us, but is working through others so we can witness his love and prowess. You see through others we recognize that we are not alone.
I write this because I am here in the hospital awaiting a transfusion. I could be saddened because my goal was to be well for several more months. On the other hand I can be thankful because my hemoglobin level was detected by my peritoneal nurse during the draw of my weekly labs. The benefit is I am not in a pain crisis and not on pain meds. Another benefit and most importantly God's demostration of ultimate love is He allowed me to be home with my family throughout the holidays in positive spirits and health. You see, I think this was the first holiday since 2005 that I was able to enjoy the season, thanking Him who has all power and control.
God said we were like trees planted on the rivers edge and that He would supply all of our needs. We try hard sometimes to supplant ourselves and thats where we mess up. We allow our judgment to cloud our faith rather than faith guiding our judgment. So let's start the New Year off right by growing closer to God on the rivers edge. As we deal with our health issues we must smooth the bumps in the road which take us away from the real purpose. God placed us here to be a beacon, an advocate who will work tiredless to find a cure for SCD. God is in the Healing Business!
I write this because I am here in the hospital awaiting a transfusion. I could be saddened because my goal was to be well for several more months. On the other hand I can be thankful because my hemoglobin level was detected by my peritoneal nurse during the draw of my weekly labs. The benefit is I am not in a pain crisis and not on pain meds. Another benefit and most importantly God's demostration of ultimate love is He allowed me to be home with my family throughout the holidays in positive spirits and health. You see, I think this was the first holiday since 2005 that I was able to enjoy the season, thanking Him who has all power and control.
God said we were like trees planted on the rivers edge and that He would supply all of our needs. We try hard sometimes to supplant ourselves and thats where we mess up. We allow our judgment to cloud our faith rather than faith guiding our judgment. So let's start the New Year off right by growing closer to God on the rivers edge. As we deal with our health issues we must smooth the bumps in the road which take us away from the real purpose. God placed us here to be a beacon, an advocate who will work tiredless to find a cure for SCD. God is in the Healing Business!
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